Infantilising language — speech that treats a person as less competent, childlike, or incapable regardless of their actual age or abilities — remains a troubling yet widespread practice across healthcare, education, and social care settings.
Whether it’s directed toward older adults, disabled individuals, or children, this kind of language erodes dignity, undermines autonomy, and reinforces harmful stereotypes. Understanding why it’s degrading and how to replace it is essential for fostering truly person-centred, respectful care.
What is Infantilising Language?
Infantilising language refers to communication that strips away a person’s agency, often unintentionally, by implying they are less capable than they are. It can show up in subtle or overt ways, such as:
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- Using overly simplistic words, exaggerated tones, or “baby talk”
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- Employing diminutives like “sweetie,” “dearie,” or “good boy/girl”
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- Giving unnecessary instructions as if the person cannot make decisions
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- Speaking about someone in their presence as though they’re not there
This kind of speech can make older adults feel belittled, children feel patronised, and anyone feel invisible. It denies the personhood of the individual and reduces them to a stereotype, often one of helplessness or incompetence.
Why It Harms
Infantilising language isn’t just poor communication – it has real consequences because it:
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- Denies Personhood and Autonomy – It sends the message that the person is not fully capable or worthy of being consulted about their own life.
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- Erodes Dignity – It diminishes self-worth, especially in older people who have lived full, complex lives and deserve respect.
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- Impacts Mental Health – Being spoken to in a patronising way can lead to feelings of shame, frustration, and isolation.
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- Reinforces Negative Stereotypes – It perpetuates the idea that disability, age, or difference equals incompetence.
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- Undermines Trust and Relationships– It creates emotional distance and can damage the rapport between care providers and those they support.
Even children, often assumed to be the “appropriate” recipients of simplified speech, benefit from respectful, empowering language that encourages their growth and self-esteem.
Respectful Alternatives
Compassionate care begins with how we speak. Here’s how to shift toward empowering communication:
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- Use age-appropriate, person-centred language – Adapt your tone and vocabulary to the individual’s needs but never in a way that diminishes their intelligence or autonomy.
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- Ask, don’t assume – Invite participation in decisions. Ask what someone prefers, needs, or wants rather than assuming you know best.
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- Celebrate capabilities – Focus on strengths and independence. Support where needed, but always with the goal of empowerment.
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- Speak with, not about – Always address the person directly, even if they need support to respond. Inclusion is non-negotiable.
A Call to Compassionate Communication
Dignity is a universal right. Whether supporting a child learning new skills, an adult living with a disability, or an older person navigating age-related change, every interaction should reinforce respect, autonomy, and value.
Care is never just about tasks – it’s about relationships. It’s about how we speak to, treat, and regard one another. Ridding care environments of infantilising language is not just a linguistic shift, it’s a cultural one.
And it’s a vital step toward truly compassionate, empowering care.
Sarah